Saturday, March 18, 2017

A Good Marriage - Caring Enough to Prevent Woundedness

White Pink Rose on Brown Wicker Basket Near White Wall 

Some people are prophetic in nature. They always speak the truth; sometimes not in a very loving manner. They do not intend to hurt another's feelings, but at times it does happen.

You always know where you stand with a prophetic person. They will not lie to you, and over the years of maturing spiritually, they learn to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15-19).

I am one of these prophetic people. One person in my life labeled me as a "mean spirited" person; yet my husband says I'm very sweet and kind; but at times the truth I speak hits a person the wrong way, and it hurts their feelings.

In a marriage, two opposites attract. We need the strengths in our spouse to balance out our weaknesses; and they need our strengths to balance out theirs.

Our idiosyncrasies and imperfections may frustrate or irritate one another; but we can discuss these issues and resolve them, rather than allow bitterness to grow in our heart over the years.

When our spouse's behavior causes us to pull away from him/her, we are using this distance and lack of attachment as a defense mechanism to protect our feelings.

Withdrawing is our way of preventing a volley of verbal discussion or fighting, possibly causing more hurt and bitterness; but withdrawing also compounds the problem by sweeping it under the rug.

Humility allows us to admit that we are wounded and to confront the offensive behavior during an unemotional time of rational conversation. Stuffing our feelings only increases the hurt and is caused by pride.

These open, honest conversations bring enlightenment to both members of the couple, allows us to ask hard questions and give honest answers in love, and to learn valuable lessons that lead to personal growth and positive change in the relationship that strengthens the marriage.

Father God, teach us to fitly speak a word in due season in order to help our family, friends, associates and neighbors to improve their quality of life (Isaiah 50:4). Help us to realize when we did not speak the truth in love, but in prophetic fervor; and to humbly apologize for hurting someone's feelings.

Teach us to appreciate the candid counsel of a brother or sister in the spirit in which they intended to give it…to help us rather than to wound us. Let their wise words help us to mature in our walk with You and to learn the secrets of life, which they already learned from You. Help us to pass on these truths to others in love and humility.

Thought for the Day:
When someone loves us enough to point out a fault, we should not take offense, but thank them for their honesty and for being willing to be vulnerable enough to tell us the truth.


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