Friday, April 14, 2017

A Good Marriage-Safe Boundaries

White Daisy in Grass

There are issues in every marriage where we just cannot agree with one another. We are diametrically opposed in our thinking, goals and vision for our life.

When I turned 60, I started to slow down. I found that I wanted a simple life, devoid of so much activity and slower paced with more meaningful activities. I wanted more time alone with God…quiet time for prayer, praise and hearing from His Spirit.

I did not want to run from ministry to ministry, but to choose a few that I felt God's Spirit directing me to help in and then to focus on those. I no longer wanted to travel great distances but to stay closer to home, to sleep in my bed and to spend more time with my fur-family.

I love my children, step-children and grandchildren, but I did not want the drama and poor choices in their life to complicate my life. I wanted clear boundaries to prevent me from having to pay the consequences of their behavior.

I wanted added boundaries around my life that would give me a more meaningful relationship with my husband and church family without the spectacles and constant running about, which used to complicate our life together.

This required that we clearly define a few boundaries on which my husband and I could agree. I wanted to spend more time with my husband, serving God in true religion (James 1;27), rather than in putting out ”fires" started by other people, or serving in frivolous ministries that other people felt were important.

We agreed not to share our personal business on social media or to say negative things about one another, even in gest; therefore false and destructive rumors, opinions and attitudes about us did not prevail over the truth.

We sought to find a Plan C when we could not agree on either plan that we individually devised. It takes work, but is well worth the time and effort. This way one person does not have to constantly capitulate his/her needs to make our mate happy.

We keep no secrets from each other, but we lived open and honest lives, sharing what activities we were involved in while we were apart, who we talked to on the phone and thoughts we had during the day.

We work together to find resolutions for our differences of opinion or our emotional, mental and physical needs; and to find mutually agreeable boundaries for our marriage, our personal life and our extended time and commitments to our families.

Father God, Jesus withdrew to quiet places to commune with You and to get away from the crowds. Remind us of the importance of having "down" times for our spirit, soul and body to heal; and to keep the "good" things from becoming the enemy of what You are actually calling us to do. Remind us to keep You as the center of our life and of our marriage.

Help us to keep from over-extending our self and our schedule, but to make time to rest in You and to spend quality and quantity time with our spouse. Help us to break down the walls which separate us and to include one another in our activities and into our thought processes.

Thought for the Day:
Defining healthy boundaries prevents folly and encourages wise choices; boundaries also prevent destructive behavior from tearing down our relationship, destroying our unity and preventing attacks from within and without that will weaken our love and commitment to one another.

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